High School : Complete.

Soo.. I finished high school a couple days ago. I still continue to wake up and worry about overdue assignments everyday.. I do not think I will stop worrying about high school till I have my diploma in hand. That will not be till about mid-June. My birth month. I’m going to be honest.. I am not even excited about it. Do not get me wrong, I am SO glad it’s over but.. I am not excited or anything.

I guess I’m kind of just stuck in this “what now?” moment. What happens next? College? Don’t think it’s for me personally. Yes, I believe that you do not have to go to college to be successful. We all have our opinions on it, and I do not feel like getting into that right now.

My next worry is finding a job, and getting a car. Then we will just have to roll with it from there on out. I believe I will eventually find my place. I’m just confused right now, but hey.. That is just the way it is.

Well that is all I have to say about that.. Thanks for letting me (word)vomit all over you..

btw, i guess that whole vomit phrase has just became a thing now haha. T-shirts coming soon. (jokes)

x.

Night Time Thoughts 

I’m sure we all experience these moments before bed, where we just lay here and think. We lay here and think of things that have happened or that haven’t even happened. You kind of just lay there, motionless. No expression on your face, you’re just looking at the ceiling. Your breath is steady, your body is at peace. Meanwhile, your mind is hectic. One minute you’re thinking about that cat video you saw on Twitter earlier, the next you’re thinking of something that happened years ago. I always wonder why it’s always before bed. Why now? My body is trying to wind down and I’m trying to catch some zzz’s. But instead, I’m thinking of that time in middle school, when I fell in gym class and sprained my ankle. 

Aside from remembering things from years ago. My mind likes to wonder off into these unrealistic thoughts, I guess you can call them. They’re like senerios that I create in my head and I like to play them out in my head because that’s the closest I’m getting to actually being able to live out that “fantasy.” It doesn’t always have to be about a person, sometimes it’s simply about what my dream house would look like and me walking around in it. Sometimes it’s about a puppy and how nice it would be to have an indoor puppy. 

These thoughts can keep me up for hours until my brain is tired of thinking. Until my eyes are too heavy to keep open and I have reached a certain point of comfort within my sheets. Nothing can beat the feeling of falling asleep in the most comfortable position while your mind is at peace. 

I really needed to get this out because I am currently having trouble sleeping. Any night time remedies that you recommend??? Anything helps 🙂 

Thanks for letting me vomit all over you. 

High School 

So I am finally on my last year of high school. Most students would be excited about this, but I am not. Don’t get me wrong, I love the idea of getting this over with. I just have a lot to do before it is done. People say that your high school years are the best years of your life.

  “You’re going to miss it when you graduate.”

I think that is a load of poo. You see, I started off high school by going to a public school where I saw most of the people I went to middle school with. That was strangely comforting, but my first year was still terrifying. I mean, who’s wasn’t? My second year in high school was not too bad, but if you ask me.. I hated every second of it. I just really hate school. 

The thing is, I was never bullied, fortunately. I had friends, my grades were decent, and I minded my own business. It was the small things that happened during the school day that really made it difficult for me. 

  • Presenting in class 

Maaaan, did this really make me want to vomit (not word vomit, actual vomit) all over the front row. 

  • Gym class

This class was a task on it’s own. I know, you’re probably thinking, “wow, she must be really lazy.” I am. That is not the point though, gym class was awkward. Everyone was at that age where they felt silly playing these stupid games we have been playing since elementary school. It got to the point where people would purposely not “dress out” for gym just to go walk field. Anything was better than staying inside that clammy dungeon of embarrassment. Eventually, too many people stopped to dressing out so our coach decided to stop the whole “dress out” rule and everyone had to start participating. “Dressed out” or not. 

That’s when I decided I had enough of that, and I stopped going to gym class. Yup, I didn’t go to gym class for the entire last half of my sophomore school year. Everyday, I would skip gym class and go to the first lunch of the day, “A” lunch. This continued on and on till the end of the year. Of course I had to go back at the end of the year and take an end of the year exam. I don’t remember what my teacher told me or if he even told me anything. I still some how got credit for the class though.  

  • The people 

I always hated walking through the crowed hallways. You would think that after a couple days I would get use to it, and I did. Still hated it. The thing is, I was always a lot shorter than most people. I always had to guess I was going the right way because I could never see over anyone. It was especially hard when having to get to the other side of the hallway during passing period. It was like crossing a really busy street with no stoplights. 

Then when you finally get to class and you settle into your desk, you still have to deal with even more people.

 There was always those kids in class that made you feel so self conscious about yourself because they were considered “cool.” Either they were really loud, of really quiet. They knew they were “popular” though, and they knew other people knew who they were without introducing themselves. Then there was the smart kids that didn’t talk to anyone, or everyone. Then there was the kids who just watched and never interacted, that was my category. 

Let’s fast forward to where I am now. So I decided to take on online school, and I am currently 4 weeks away for finishing. I hope. I’m behind on my assignments right now and I keep hoping and praying that I somehow finish all of this work in time. If I don’t, I would potentially have to start a whole other year and I certainly do not want that. 

Despite the fact that I know I have a lot of work to do, I continue to push it away. Procrastination at it’s finest, I know. I much rather lay in bed and binge watch “Keeping up with The Kardashians.” I do believe that I will get this work done in time though. Despite the fact that I’m behind. I believe that on the last week I’ll probably be cramming in all these assignments in one day just so I can finish on time. I’ll finish, I’m just going to make it hard on myself.

Any ways, think I should stop there. I have to go back and stare at all my overdue assignments and not do a thing about it. Thanks for letting me vomit all over you. 
x

Welcome

Hi, this is my first post.. I have never had a blog before, nor did I think I would ever have one. Let’s just get to the point here. I want to first state that I wanted to start a blog because I love to write. As much as I love it, I am not the best are writing. I am still learning, but I really enjoy the idea of being able to express myself on an open page. I always have these sudden urges to write and to spill my thoughts onto paper, hence the title of this blog, “Word Vomit.”

I hope that this blog helps me relieve myself when I am feeling restricted and trapped from the thoughts in my mind. Did not intend to get dark and deep there, but it kind of just happened. The beauty of having my own blog is that:  I can do that as much as I want without someone telling me that it is wrong. My brain is just always thinking of a million things per second, so I am glad it has a place to let it all out on now.

Let’s see how this goes. Who knows how often I will post on here, or if I will even post after this. This is me trying new things. Thanks for letting me vomit all over you.

x